


The White Council Is Ultra Serious

by gildatheplant



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Elrond is head over heels for Thranduil, Gandalf is a Troll, M/M, Poor Lindir has bad news, Thranduil is clueless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gildatheplant/pseuds/gildatheplant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a little fill I did for the Hobbit kink meme based on this prompt: </p>
<p>
  <i>Thranduil was actually supposed to be present at the White Council in Imladris.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Except he showed up fifteen minutes late with Starbucks (Stagbucks).</i>
</p>
<p>The Anon who posted the prompt totally came up with the name Stagbucks, which I adore :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The White Council Is Ultra Serious

The White Council had finished their meeting when Lindir entered the room to inform Lord Elrond that the Dwarves and Halfling had disappeared. 

Lindir hesitated for a moment, "I should also tell you that they left a bit of a mess."

Lord Elrond gracefully raised an eyebrow and manfully ignored Mithrandir's snickering.

Lindir coughed, "It seems they felt the need to start a bonfire in the common room...and well, they used quite a bit of the furniture as kindling."

The Lord of Rivendell sighed and rubbed his forehead. 

Lindir took a deep breath and continued, "They also managed to get stains all over the curtains, rugs and tapestries..."

Mithrandir wasn't even trying to hide his amusement anymore, while Galadriel was discreetly stifling her giggles and even Saruman was chuckling. Elrond silently swore he would never let that crazy Grey Wizard bring friends to his home again.

The younger Elf went on, "The kitchen reported a ham, two wheels of cheese and a jar of cookies missing. No salad was taken though." Lindir shifted awkwardly, "I've also been informed that the...um...plumbing in the privy they used may never recover."

Mithrandir nodded sagely, "Well that is what tends to happen when one eats too much ham and cheese and not enough greens."

Galadriel gave up trying to stifle her laughter, Mithrandir seemed obscenely proud of his joke and Saruman mumbled something about a healthy bowel being no laughing matter.

Before Elrond could respond to any of it, the door swung open again. King Thranduil calmly swept into the room, the perfect vision of Elven grace, beauty and elegance. His glorious long hair shimmered in the moonlight like a river of pale gold. His eyes, blue as a summer sky, sparkled. His soft, full pink lips wrapped around the straw of his Stagbucks iced coffee like...wait, what?

While Lord Elrond shook his head to clear the Thranduil induced haze from his mind, Saruman scowled at the new arrival. "You're late."

Thranduil, who wasn't at all intimidated by Saruman's thunderous accusation, simply nodded, "So what did I miss?"

The White Wizard, unused to such a calm reaction to his anger, crossed his arms in frustration, "Are you not going to explain why?"

The so-beautiful-it-caused-actual-physical-pain-to-those-who-saw-him Elvenking shrugged, "It's a long way. I got thirsty." He jiggled his Stagbucks slightly for emphasis.

Mithrandir clapped his hands together cheerfully, "Well we were just discussing how the Dwarves apparently don't eat enough fibre."

Thranduil elegantly gagged and covered his mouth, "Is that what that smell is?"

"Perhaps we should stand out on the balcony." Lady Galadriel, ever wise, suggested.

Saruman huffed, "We're not going through the whole meeting again just because someone couldn't be bothered to show up on time-"

Lord Elrond, seeing an opportunity, cut in, "It has been a long day. Lady Galadriel, Mithrandir, Saruman, please allow Lindir here to take you to the rooms we've prepared for you. I assure you they are well away from the common room." Elrond turned to the flawlessly gorgeous Elvenking, "I will fill Thranduil on the balcony. I mean, I will _fill-in_ Thranduil _about the meeting_ on the balcony."

Thranduil blinked innocently, "OK, that sounds fine."

Everyone agreed, then Saruman cast one last judgemental scowl around the room before following the now terrified Lindir out. Galadriel smiled and sent Elrond a telepathic "good luck" before leaving. Mithrandir followed last, giving Elrond a completely unsubtle nudge and wink before heading out the door. Thankfully, Thranduil was too busy sucking the last drops of his Stagbucks up to notice.

Elrond was completely not mesmerized watching how Thranduil's lips moved on the straw, how his cheeks hollowed from the suction, how his long beautiful throat worked to swallow every last milky drop...

Thranduil looked up, completely oblivious, "Sorry did you want some? I didn't realize..."

The Lord of Rivendell smiled slyly, put a hand on the small of Thranduil's back and guided him out to the balcony. "Don't worry, my friend, I have every intention of getting some tonight..."


End file.
